Call Your Girlfriend - Harry Styles
“Answer,” he pleads to no one in particular, voice quaking.
A few seconds pass, and ring sounds through the phone. And again. A third time.
“Hey! Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now, leave a message after the tone!” her voice came to his ears, the smile in her tone was visible. Her smile, the one he fell in love with, but the one he has to say good-bye to.
“Dammit!” he’s flustered, upset. His slender fingers weave their way through his mop of curls.
Petite fingers find their way to his shoulders and press soothing patterns into his backside.
”What’s wrong?” April whispers into his neck, her warm breath sending his figure chills.
“I need to talk to her, to end things. The right way, not like this,” he pushes his way from under her arms. “You and I, we can’t kee-” his words are cut short with the ever-so-familiar ringtone. Her picture lights up the phone, her name in large letters across the top with a small smiley face at the end, the way she entered it when they first met. “Excuse me,” he pushes past April and out the front door, alone.
He presses the small green button, connecting their two voices for the last time.
“Hello?” he’s quiet.
“Hi, Harry!” her voice filled with happiness, only soon to be shattered. “Did ya’ call?”
“Yeah, we need to have a talk,” seriousness in his voice, trying to keep strong, trying not to break.
“We’re a little late for the birds and the bees, Haz.”
“No, you don’t get it.” he swallows uneasily, the heavy lump in his throat is caught. He can’t bring himself to say her name, the name he whispers out to into the cold nights, the name always finding a way to escape his lips, can’t find it’s way back.
The line is silent, uncomfortable as she waits for further explanation.
“You need to know… None,” his voice cracks, going just a little out of his normal octave. “of this is your fault.”
He waits for a reaction, just silence. A few seconds pass and she mumbles, not speaking to him, but to whoever she’s with. Promising she’d be back soon.
She finally speaks, “What are you talking about?” she’s quiet. She’s whispering like she’s afraid someone will hear her secret.
“Just get out!” her voice rings through the house loudly as she points to the door.
He pushes toward her and places his palms on her waist. She’s breathing hard, aggravated, and angry. It all happens so fast, his fine lips press to hers, finding their way back into her heart. Her peppermint lips relax into his and her angered eyebrows settle down, she’s melting into him. Her arms fall to her side, limp.
He pulls back, her lips aren’t wanting departure and are begging just for a second more of that pure satisfaction. He nods his head down and kiss for a second longer. Her eyes meet his when they pull back, and she smiled.
“Why are we fighting again? ” Harry smiles, whispering to her cheek.
“I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I started it.” her arms wrap around his neck and she buries her face in his shoulder. She mumbles, “it always is.” her voice is sincere. Harry just kisses her forehead and rocks her small frame back and forth. The argument was long forgotten.
That’s just one of the countless arguments they have on a weekly basis, one of the memories that came rushing to his mind in that moment. It was never her fault, but she always thought it was. She always has that feeling that she’d never be good enough for him, but she was perfect. She balanced him out until April came along and threw it away.
“I’m not in love with you anymore,” the pain shooting through his chest is indescribable with words. The quiet sounds of her breathing are cut short with a sharp gasp.
It’s difficult not to let his tear brimmed eyes overflow, but he continues. “There’s.. uh.. someone. She’s wonderful. You’d like her.”
“No,” she says so quietly, no one could have heard her if there was one slight sound in the background. “You’re joking,” she states a little louder. “This isn’t funny, Harry!”
The stars shine out, and they’re sprawled out on the grass on the mild summer night. Her hair scatters over his chest and his arm is wrapped with her torso. It’s peaceful, the trees are blowing slightly to the warm wind, and the sky is clear.
“What do you think about falling in love?” he whispers into her hair, dark as night itself.
“I don’t think I understand the question?” she giggles back, toying with Harry’s fingers that lay upon her stomach.
“What is it to you?”
“What is love to me? It’s not really something you can describe, but if you could…” she takes a deep breath in, and her words fall from her lips like she’s been thinking about the answer to this for years. Her voice sounds as soft as silk, intertwining with the sounds of the night. “Falling in love, is something I think everyone desires. It’s trust, comfort, and friendship, and support. Y’anno? It’s being able to stick with that person through the rough times, and celebrating through the great. It’s putting them in front of you, caring for their needs before your own. It’s passion, and lust, and everything anybody needs. Love..” her tone quiets, soothing back into the quiet night.
“Do you think we, you and I,” it’s a risky question, but Harry was fearless. He was sure of the answer that is to come, “Do you think we could be in love?” his fingers stop moving with hers while he waits for the assured answer.
She tilts her head just the perfect amount so the moonlight reflects off of his emerald green eyes. He stares down at her and she stays, with a perfect smile strung to her face. Her white teeth sparkled and he could gaze for days. “Maybe,” she smiles into the night.
He kisses her forehead and wraps his arms fully around her stomach, interlocking with each other to keep her safe. She was safe with him, and he was safe with her.
“You need to know,” he began slowly, careful not to trigger anything. The memories spill back to his mind, “that the time I’ve spent with you, has been perfect.” The receiver is silent, so he continues. ”Don’t think I never loved you. Don’t think that every moment you and I shared together, wasn’t a moment to remember, to make last forever.”
Her breath falters and quiet sobs make their way to Harry’s ears.
His voice cracks, a salty stream making it’s descent down his cheek as well. “I never meant to hurt you..”
“Does she make you happy?” her tears stop, and her tone strong.
April, the small blonde gives him everything he needs, and he gives her everything she wants. He likes the enclosure he has with her. The barrier around his heart that she doesn’t know how to get to, it hides his weaknesses and his vulnerability. And she, she likes the things he gives her, to make her smile. It’s not the same smile he fell in love with, but it’ll do.
“Yes,” he hesitated, “she does.”
Her weeping was audible again, the sound of her tears crushing him to pieces, piercing his heart. But he has to be strong, he has to let her know it’s over.
“Hey, it’ll be fine,” Harry tries to calm her.
“Fine?!” she shouts through her cries. “You’re calling me, telling me you don’t love me anymore and you’re saying I’ll be fine?”
“You’re going to find someone else, someone bette-“
“How do you know that Harry!?” her tears weren’t just sadness anymore, she was crying from anger, betrayal.
“Stop yelling and listen to me,” he asserts, and the phone is quiet. “You’re going to love again, and there’s going to be that trust, and comfort and everything you think love is, you’ll have it. And you’ll love it. The pain in your chest right now will be gone. A forgotten memory.” he’s quiet, she’s quiet.
“Are you okay?” his fingers entangle themselves into her dark locks.
“Life’s precious and short. It’s scary.” she’s monotone, staring blankly to the white wall across the room.
“You’re scared of living?” he questions in a hushed tone.
“No, that’s silly. I’m scared of dying.”
She’s been crying her heart out for days, her eyes stained red and burning from the overwhelming amount of salt spilling from them. Now her tears are gone and she has nothing to show from them except a broken heart and one less friend in the world.
“She loves you. She’s just an angel now, to protect you.”
She smiles, not at the thought of her friends protection over her, but knowing she’s happier, better, free. She nods and Harry takes a thumb to her cheek, wiping away the last trickle of tears.
“You tired?” he chuckles, his shoulders shaking, vibrating throughout her body as well.
She just closes her eyes, announcing she was ready for a rest. He hums her to sleep, twisting and turning her hair until her breathing gets slow and heavy.
“I’ll be here,” he breaks the silence, coming back into reality from the memory of the worst week of her life. “Always and forever. For you. If you need me.”
She’s baffled, confused by his words. “You’ll be there for me? You don’t want me, but you’re always gonna be there?” she laughs to herself sarcastically.
“I love you, and I always will. I’ll always be your friend.” his tears have spilled away, strength pulling through.
“That’s great..” the waters break the dam and she’s crying all over again, realizing it’s done. Her high-pitch cries make her voice as shaky as ever, “I have to get back,”
“I love you,” he murmurs softly into the phone line.
“Goodbye, Harry.” she takes a deep breath and the three tones sound through to Harry’s ear, signaling the call has ended.
He brings his fingers to his face, wiping away the waters surrounding his eyes. He slips his phone back into his backside pocket, and his hands ruffle into his hair, messing it up only to fix itself as he walks back inside.
April’s there. Her legs crossed sitting on the dark leather couch, filing her perfectly pointed nails.
Harry takes a deep breath and sits down by her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.
“I did it..” he sighs, washing the memories away for good.